Careful... it's my first time (Richard)

I feel like a bitch on prom night. Random noises from the tv bringing back memories of preteen angst all the while the girls about and asunder exclaiming said noses sound akin to sex noises... Bette Middler, Jessica Simpson, and... the... that third witch do not remind me of sex. Not in the slightest. For starters the room doesn't smell like regret... Speaking of which when is the goddamn male pill going to come out. I'm going to pop that shit like skiddles. OH CRAP BETTE MIDDLER IS SINGING... and nobody is listening but me... oh and I'm singing along... oh hell no Rachel... Don't you dare blame me for hogging the computer... Hey Jazmin... don't text that... being naked also scares the shit out of me... it's hard to hide all this awesome... yeah seriously why aren't going for the boobs... (I'm quoting the ladies for anybody that's reading)... My gawd... this might be the worst blog entry I've ever written... Did you know in Japan there are cafes where you can pay to pet kittens (note to all readers: Get your mind out of the gutters people... you make me sick). No but seriously I would go bankrupt over night. Ok seriously this is a to be concluded... b/c I refuse for this to be my first blog entry... let me tell you something... I am hilARiOUS!!! HILARIOIUS!!!